This is a hard post for me to write. Both because I want to get the words right to describe how I feel and also because I don't want anyone to be offended or misunderstand my words either.
Why would anyone be offended? Because the words of my friends sometimes hurt. Because the well-meaning comments are sometimes painful. Because trying to wade through the world of sensory processing disorder and language/developmental delays is hard enough without feeling all alone in that battle/search. I do have a few other mothers I can talk to that are on this road with me(which is nice), it is still tough though. I have also been reading quite a few SPD mothers blogs, which again is helpful.
I have spent the past couple of days in frustration and some tears. I am still trying to wade through the world of SPD as it pertains to my son. I am still trying to figure out what it is that I need to do to help him through his fits and tough times. What over-stimulates and how to compensate. Do I then remove stimuli or give him stimuli where he likes it?
He is an oral sensory seeker so I am going to try to keep fruit leather and fruit snacks and even small pieces of gum so that he has something to chew on should things go awry. The thing with this though is that I do not feed the kids HFCS nor do I buy anything with food coloring. We are also gluten free; while I go back and forth with casein. So that means that the fruit snacks are expensive; thank goodness they do make natural fruit snacks though. I know it may make me sound like an asshole to imply that I won't get something for my son because it is expensive but with three kids, all of whom want to have snacks when he does, it really does get expensive. I may do some searching online to see if buying in bulk will help.
My other concern with giving him food type stimuli is that I don't want to always give him food to get him through a tough sensory moment. That seems to be a bad idea to me. No matter how healthy the treat may be to use food as a solution may set him up for food issues down the road. So I bought some small pieces of gum. Natural gum made with no artificial sweeteners colors or flavors. Still...it is gum and along with fruit snacks these are not great for the kids teeth either. Plus teaching him not to swallow it may prove to be a tough lesson.
I love my son, he is a sweet heart.
I want to do what is best for him.
I so badly want to figure out how to help him navigate SPD as easily as possible.
I get frustrated when I feel that people may judge that he is an out of control child when we are out and about. When he is melting down at the grocery store, because he is just over his limit. When he hits me or is screaming and yelling as we leave the store, because he is over his limit. I hate the stares and looks I get. I hate that anyone may think he is not a good kid, because he is. I hate that anyone may think he is a brat, because he is not. He is just trying to navigate in a very sensory world without the same abilities as most of us have to deal.
I also get frustrated when it is implied that it is all about his age. yes, at almost three tantrums and attitudes are not unusual. His are different though. Don't ask me to exactly explain how or why. They just are. I know my kid. I know that things are a little different with him. It is part of why we went gluten free, I wanted to see if it would help with some behavior issues, not to mention his developmental difficulties. It has worked to an extent. We were also casein free for a while too. I decided to try to put him back on dairy to see what would happen. In the next week or so we will go casein free again and I will once again watch to see if it makes a difference. The gluten did for sure. I took out casein at close to the same time though I am not as sure if the differences were there with that or not.
I don't know what I want to say exactly except that I am trying to figure this all out. I am trying to treat him as I would my other children while at the same time taking into consideration that he processes a little differently than they do. I have picked up the book The Out of Sync Child again and am going to try to read it all. I need to understand but sometimes the words get to be too much for me. Sometimes I get lost in all the technical speak.
We are working with an OT and she definitely sees what I see. She says he definitely has sensory problems. This is all awesome to me because I need to know that I am not crazy. I need to know that what I see in him that others so quickly dismiss really is there. She too is worried about how he will handle a preschool classroom, among other adjustments.
Things are coming along. It is a slow process, which is fine, I just have my good days and I have my bad days. So does Brady. Obviously those days tend to be one in the same...my good are his good and my bad are his as well. We will get this figured out....we will.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Next Tuesday
I feel like much of the past few months has just been leading up to next Tuesday.
Brady has his evaluation with the Center for Disabilities and Development at the University of Iowa. I am scared and glad at the same time.
I am scared because I know that no matter how prepared I am for us to get a bearing on just what is going on with him it will still be hard to have ANYTHING in black and white stating what is going on with him. Does that even make sense? I think so. to me anyway.
I am a label person. I know this about myself. I like labels because then I know what I am dealing with. You can look back in my life and see that. In many milestones of difficulties there are areas where my need for labels is obvious.
I don't want to label him as a detriment to him.
I don't want to label him so I, or him, can get special attention.
I don't want to label him because of some love of drama.
I don't want to label him and create difficulties in his future.
I don't want to label him so that he gets treated differently.
I want a label so we know what we are dealing with. plain and simple.
I want a label so that I can help my son in whatever way is going to be best for him.
I want a label so that we can continue to figure out the best way to tackle teaching him.
Brady is coming along. Making small steps and some large leaps here and there. I am excited by his progress some days and disappointed, not in him, but by the roadblocks he encounters on other days.
All in all I love my little man with all my heart and I want nothing but the best for him.
I truly believe in my heart of hearts that taking him in and getting an evaluation is the best thing I can do for him.
Once we take this step we can continue to take others and do what is best for him.
Brady has his evaluation with the Center for Disabilities and Development at the University of Iowa. I am scared and glad at the same time.
I am scared because I know that no matter how prepared I am for us to get a bearing on just what is going on with him it will still be hard to have ANYTHING in black and white stating what is going on with him. Does that even make sense? I think so. to me anyway.
I am a label person. I know this about myself. I like labels because then I know what I am dealing with. You can look back in my life and see that. In many milestones of difficulties there are areas where my need for labels is obvious.
I don't want to label him as a detriment to him.
I don't want to label him so I, or him, can get special attention.
I don't want to label him because of some love of drama.
I don't want to label him and create difficulties in his future.
I don't want to label him so that he gets treated differently.
I want a label so we know what we are dealing with. plain and simple.
I want a label so that I can help my son in whatever way is going to be best for him.
I want a label so that we can continue to figure out the best way to tackle teaching him.
Brady is coming along. Making small steps and some large leaps here and there. I am excited by his progress some days and disappointed, not in him, but by the roadblocks he encounters on other days.
All in all I love my little man with all my heart and I want nothing but the best for him.
I truly believe in my heart of hearts that taking him in and getting an evaluation is the best thing I can do for him.
Once we take this step we can continue to take others and do what is best for him.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Chocolate Coconut Slices
So it has been a while since I blogged here....hopefully you will forgive me since I am including a super yummy GF/CF recipe on my first blog post back.
Here is a link to a gram to cup conversion: http://allrecipes.com/HowTo/Cup-to-Gram-Conversions/Detail.aspx
Here is a link to the original recipe: http://learnwithp.blogspot.com/2010/05/chocolate-coconut-slice.html This blog is definitely worth watching, I love all the information Z posts here. Good food, green ideas and general greatness. I do love this blog.
Here is what I did with the recipe:
GF/CF Chocolate Coconut Slices
3/4 cup skimmed coconut milk(the thick high fat top off the coconut milk)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 egg(slightly beaten)
1 t GF vanilla
1/2 C brown rice flour
1/2 C millet flour
1 t GF baking powder
2 T cocoa powder
3/4 C coconut(I use an organic unsweetened thinly cut coconut)
Icing
1 C powdered sugar
2 T cocoa powder
1 T skimmed coconut milk again
1 1/2 T hot water
Beat coconut milk, sugar, egg and vanilla together. Add the flours, baking powder and cocoa. Stir in the coconut. Bake in a greased pan, I actually used a pie plate, for about 20-25 minutes. Spread icing while still hot. Sprinkle coconut over top of icing.
These are still hot and cooling on the counter right now so I have not yet tasted it. I will be back later with a taste test and a picture.
we tried it....holy crap it is awesome! Brad even loved it and he is always a little less than enthused with GF/CF recipes. and here it is is in all it's glory...after we ate half of it. I also took a picture from the side so you could see the yummy cake-y texture under all that frosting.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Squash Pudding Pie
This was really yummy. The kids ate it for breakfast and then we had plenty left over for a few snacks after dinner. I drizzled some raw honey on it for the "snack". It has an ok texture. Brady was not overly enthused with it. He liked the outer parts that were a little less creamy like the middle. I am making one later with half butternut squash and half sweet potato. mmmm
It is low in sugar and fat, and dairy and gluten free. The NE also mentioned that you could make a crust for it from almond flour or something else similar and gf/cf. It comes from The Garden of Eating cookbook.
Squash Pudding Pie
3 cups baked or simmered and mashed squash
3/4 cup blended unsweetened coconut milk
1/4 honey, agave nectar or maple syrup
3 whole eggs or 6 egg whites or 1/4 cup dried powdered egg whites blended with 3/4 cup water
1 1/2 tablespoons arrowroot starch powder(I used tapioca starch)
2 teaspoons apple pie spice or pumpkin pie spice (I used cinnamon and fresh nutmeg)
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla or maple extract
1/3 teaspoon sea salt
1 tablespoon additional honey, agave nectar or maple syrup or 1/4 teaspoon white stevia extract powder
preheat oven to 350 degrees. In food processor, Vita-Mix(oh how I wish I had one!) or hand food mill(I used a blender), combine all ingredients except stevia until smooth. Mixture should be thick. If too stiff to blen then add 1/4 cup water. Taste. Add 1 more tablespoon honey or the stevia if a sweeter taste is desired. Pie will become sweeter and more concentrated as it bakes.
Pour into an oiled 10-inch deep dish pie plate. Smooth with a spatula. Bake in center of oven until firm, slightly golden and dry around the edges, about 60 minutes. Allow to cool, cover with foil and refrigerate. (Pie will firm up in refrigerator)
Cut into slices and serve. Use within 4 days or freeze.
This next one I make I think I am going to make in a larger 10x13 rectangle pan so that I can cut it into bars and and freeze individually.
I have a few other recipes I do want to share here. Typing them out proves to be time consuming for me for some reason. :) I guess when I am blogging my thoughts those just flow...recipes take more thought I guess. more later!
Millet....not just for the birds!
This is gonna be a quick one...
I never meant for this blog to be so much about food but I find that I want to share this somewhere. As we go GF/CF and continue to try new thing I want to share them so that anyone else walking that line may be able to get some help/ideas too.
We made millet this morning as a hot cereal for breakfast. It was pretty simple to make and cooked while I emptied the dishwasher. I got the kids a drink and some apple to start the morning because my children seem to wake up starving. I put 1.5 cups of almond milk and 1.5 cups of water in a pan with a pinch of salt and started it boiling. Then I added a cup of millet that I had rinsed with water. Let that cook for about 30-40 minutes.
I tasted it and honestly was not terribly excited by it. I did add 1/2 cup of coconut milk and about 1/8-1/4 cup brown sugar. On each serving I put a small drizzle of raw honey. The littles have eaten 3-4 bowls each. One of Brady's sensory issues I have noticed is that he cannot seem to stand mushy foods. I was wondering how this would go over because of that. There is enough "crunch" to the cereal that he is apparently ok with it. I am really glad. Josey ate 2 bowls as well. I believe that the kids like it. :)
Perhaps next time I will add a little less sugar and just do the coconut milk and drizzle of honey and see how that goes. I need to remember that the kids are not as used to the sweet as I am. ok...off to start the day. We have a friend coming over this morning and I need to get a few more things done.
I never meant for this blog to be so much about food but I find that I want to share this somewhere. As we go GF/CF and continue to try new thing I want to share them so that anyone else walking that line may be able to get some help/ideas too.
We made millet this morning as a hot cereal for breakfast. It was pretty simple to make and cooked while I emptied the dishwasher. I got the kids a drink and some apple to start the morning because my children seem to wake up starving. I put 1.5 cups of almond milk and 1.5 cups of water in a pan with a pinch of salt and started it boiling. Then I added a cup of millet that I had rinsed with water. Let that cook for about 30-40 minutes.
I tasted it and honestly was not terribly excited by it. I did add 1/2 cup of coconut milk and about 1/8-1/4 cup brown sugar. On each serving I put a small drizzle of raw honey. The littles have eaten 3-4 bowls each. One of Brady's sensory issues I have noticed is that he cannot seem to stand mushy foods. I was wondering how this would go over because of that. There is enough "crunch" to the cereal that he is apparently ok with it. I am really glad. Josey ate 2 bowls as well. I believe that the kids like it. :)
Perhaps next time I will add a little less sugar and just do the coconut milk and drizzle of honey and see how that goes. I need to remember that the kids are not as used to the sweet as I am. ok...off to start the day. We have a friend coming over this morning and I need to get a few more things done.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
ok...so first things first. a funny story to tell on myself a bit.
Going gf AND cf is probably more of a mental thing for me but I am mourning things that I had finally gotten ok with being gf that I am now scratching because of the dairy. specifically pizza. I know that there are almond milk and rice milk cheeses, and probably others, but they won't melt like dairy cheese. Sometimes finding a substitute is just not worth it. So I have been craving pizza. I packed the kids lunches the other day so I decided to stop on the way home and grab a mini pizza from Pizza Hut. Yeah...feed the kids awesome and eat crap Gretchen...great idea. *insert rolling eyes here*. I know that I need to eat better and I believe that if I quit eating the stuff that I will eventually quit craving it. I just need to be better about resisting...ok...back to the funny stuff.
I eat the pizza and the breadsticks. Take Josey to pre-school and drop her off and then head on home. I ended up laying down with Lucey to get her down for nap. I completely crashed. total carb overload. I could barely keep my eyes open. I knew I had to make it to get Josey on time so I kept waking and checking the clock but we are talking eyes open barely a sliver. I was tired, it had been a long weekend, but seriously I think that all the carbs, all the bread items I have not eaten in a long time, caught up with me and just knocked my ass out. I did get Josey on time, thank goodness, but I was tired for the rest of the day. It was in interesting and unintentional carb experiment.
ok...so to share a couple of recipes with you guys.
Yesterday I made some fig bars and the batter to a squash pudding pie, which is now cooking in the oven for breakfast.
The fig bars are pretty good but I think next time I will use a little less sugar than it called for. It was a super easy recipe and I was able to make it gf/cf with little to no effort. I will list the ingredients I used, to make it gf/cf. I used vegan buttery sticks instead of butter and the Enjoy Life brand of cereal in crunchy flax and crunchy rice. The recipe called for 3 cups of crispy rice cereal but I used the two different types since flax has great nutritional properties to it. The recipe also suggested rolling the fig bars in powdered sugar afterwards but I decided to skip this step overall. I was thinking though that unsweetened finely chopped coconut would be a great option though.
Crispy Fig Bars
I am going to post this and will come back later to talk about the squash pudding pie and the other things I intend to make today.
Going gf AND cf is probably more of a mental thing for me but I am mourning things that I had finally gotten ok with being gf that I am now scratching because of the dairy. specifically pizza. I know that there are almond milk and rice milk cheeses, and probably others, but they won't melt like dairy cheese. Sometimes finding a substitute is just not worth it. So I have been craving pizza. I packed the kids lunches the other day so I decided to stop on the way home and grab a mini pizza from Pizza Hut. Yeah...feed the kids awesome and eat crap Gretchen...great idea. *insert rolling eyes here*. I know that I need to eat better and I believe that if I quit eating the stuff that I will eventually quit craving it. I just need to be better about resisting...ok...back to the funny stuff.
I eat the pizza and the breadsticks. Take Josey to pre-school and drop her off and then head on home. I ended up laying down with Lucey to get her down for nap. I completely crashed. total carb overload. I could barely keep my eyes open. I knew I had to make it to get Josey on time so I kept waking and checking the clock but we are talking eyes open barely a sliver. I was tired, it had been a long weekend, but seriously I think that all the carbs, all the bread items I have not eaten in a long time, caught up with me and just knocked my ass out. I did get Josey on time, thank goodness, but I was tired for the rest of the day. It was in interesting and unintentional carb experiment.
ok...so to share a couple of recipes with you guys.
Yesterday I made some fig bars and the batter to a squash pudding pie, which is now cooking in the oven for breakfast.
The fig bars are pretty good but I think next time I will use a little less sugar than it called for. It was a super easy recipe and I was able to make it gf/cf with little to no effort. I will list the ingredients I used, to make it gf/cf. I used vegan buttery sticks instead of butter and the Enjoy Life brand of cereal in crunchy flax and crunchy rice. The recipe called for 3 cups of crispy rice cereal but I used the two different types since flax has great nutritional properties to it. The recipe also suggested rolling the fig bars in powdered sugar afterwards but I decided to skip this step overall. I was thinking though that unsweetened finely chopped coconut would be a great option though.
Crispy Fig Bars
- 1/2 cup Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks
- 3/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
- 5 oz figs, finely chopped
- 1 1/2 cups crunchy flax cereal
- 1 1/2 cups crunchy rice cereal
- 1 tsp vanilla
- Grease an 8 or 9 inch square pan
- melt buttery sticks in a medium saucepan over medium heat. stir in the brown sugar and figs. cook over medium heat until mixture thickens, stirring occasionally. about 10 minutes.
- stir in the cereal and vanilla until well coated. firmly press into the pan and let stand for 2 hours.
- cut into bars in sizes to your liking.
I am going to post this and will come back later to talk about the squash pudding pie and the other things I intend to make today.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
hmmm....interesting
I met with a nutritional educator the other evening. Josey has been gluten free for about a year now. With all the concerns about Brady and his development and speech and the possibility of him being on the autistic spectrum I decided to start feeding him gluten free as well. Since that would mean I would be feeding two kids gf then I decided to just go all gf in the house basically. I wanted to meet with someone who could help me to make sure that while eliminating gluten and dairy I was still feeding us as balanced as we would need. I also wanted to gather some more information on supplements and learn more information about the autism "diet".
Typically an autism/ADHD diet also includes the exclusion of casein which is a protien found in dairy products. Now I am not going to try to educate anyone on this because I am just learning it all myself. The NE I met with explained some of it but I really need to read more before I start trying to share too much on the subject. Basically what I can tell you though was that I thought I would just take the gluten free step. I was not too sure I could cut out dairy. That scared the hell outta me. We eat a lot of cheese and yogurt. I love to add sour cream to recipes and tacos are a staple around here. Who eats a taco with no sour cream? Well I guess we will be.
According the NE 65% of kids will respond positively to a gf/cf diet. Unfortunately leaving the casein is going to leave us with a somewhat inconclusive result. She suggested a 4 week elimination period. I meet with her again next Wednesday night and she will give me our meal plan. I am looking forward to seeing what she has put together. I love to cook but have been too timid when it comes to GF cooking. I am ready to start to learn more and try new things.
Tomorrow I have it on good authority that the Easter Bunny will be bringing the children some beach towels, swimsuits and that type of thing. I think that we will be avoiding candy...maybe all candy this year. I may look at some stuff but honestly trying to eliminate dyes, HFCS, dairy and gluten means that there is not too much to choose from and sometimes I make exceptions but I think that we need to really consider how often we make exceptions you know? yeah...I am a hard ass and my kids may hate me for it but I an just doing what I think is best for them.
You know overall I am proud of the improvements Brady is making. His new words are awesome, check out the blog about the kids. I am still struggling some days with being positive and praising anything as a word. Having the ST here helps me to remember. She is always praising him with "good talking Brady", and "I hear your voice. Good job." that type of thing. So I try to mimic that when she is gone. and it is good. he just needs to work on moving his mouth, using his tongue and lips and whole mouth when talking. I will try to get more video of him talking. He just does not move his mouth hardly at all.
On with our Saturday...Take care everyone!
Typically an autism/ADHD diet also includes the exclusion of casein which is a protien found in dairy products. Now I am not going to try to educate anyone on this because I am just learning it all myself. The NE I met with explained some of it but I really need to read more before I start trying to share too much on the subject. Basically what I can tell you though was that I thought I would just take the gluten free step. I was not too sure I could cut out dairy. That scared the hell outta me. We eat a lot of cheese and yogurt. I love to add sour cream to recipes and tacos are a staple around here. Who eats a taco with no sour cream? Well I guess we will be.
According the NE 65% of kids will respond positively to a gf/cf diet. Unfortunately leaving the casein is going to leave us with a somewhat inconclusive result. She suggested a 4 week elimination period. I meet with her again next Wednesday night and she will give me our meal plan. I am looking forward to seeing what she has put together. I love to cook but have been too timid when it comes to GF cooking. I am ready to start to learn more and try new things.
Tomorrow I have it on good authority that the Easter Bunny will be bringing the children some beach towels, swimsuits and that type of thing. I think that we will be avoiding candy...maybe all candy this year. I may look at some stuff but honestly trying to eliminate dyes, HFCS, dairy and gluten means that there is not too much to choose from and sometimes I make exceptions but I think that we need to really consider how often we make exceptions you know? yeah...I am a hard ass and my kids may hate me for it but I an just doing what I think is best for them.
You know overall I am proud of the improvements Brady is making. His new words are awesome, check out the blog about the kids. I am still struggling some days with being positive and praising anything as a word. Having the ST here helps me to remember. She is always praising him with "good talking Brady", and "I hear your voice. Good job." that type of thing. So I try to mimic that when she is gone. and it is good. he just needs to work on moving his mouth, using his tongue and lips and whole mouth when talking. I will try to get more video of him talking. He just does not move his mouth hardly at all.
On with our Saturday...Take care everyone!
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