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The contributions go to the SPD Foundation. That blog definitely says it better than I could.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Still struggling
This is a hard post for me to write. Both because I want to get the words right to describe how I feel and also because I don't want anyone to be offended or misunderstand my words either.
Why would anyone be offended? Because the words of my friends sometimes hurt. Because the well-meaning comments are sometimes painful. Because trying to wade through the world of sensory processing disorder and language/developmental delays is hard enough without feeling all alone in that battle/search. I do have a few other mothers I can talk to that are on this road with me(which is nice), it is still tough though. I have also been reading quite a few SPD mothers blogs, which again is helpful.
I have spent the past couple of days in frustration and some tears. I am still trying to wade through the world of SPD as it pertains to my son. I am still trying to figure out what it is that I need to do to help him through his fits and tough times. What over-stimulates and how to compensate. Do I then remove stimuli or give him stimuli where he likes it?
He is an oral sensory seeker so I am going to try to keep fruit leather and fruit snacks and even small pieces of gum so that he has something to chew on should things go awry. The thing with this though is that I do not feed the kids HFCS nor do I buy anything with food coloring. We are also gluten free; while I go back and forth with casein. So that means that the fruit snacks are expensive; thank goodness they do make natural fruit snacks though. I know it may make me sound like an asshole to imply that I won't get something for my son because it is expensive but with three kids, all of whom want to have snacks when he does, it really does get expensive. I may do some searching online to see if buying in bulk will help.
My other concern with giving him food type stimuli is that I don't want to always give him food to get him through a tough sensory moment. That seems to be a bad idea to me. No matter how healthy the treat may be to use food as a solution may set him up for food issues down the road. So I bought some small pieces of gum. Natural gum made with no artificial sweeteners colors or flavors. Still...it is gum and along with fruit snacks these are not great for the kids teeth either. Plus teaching him not to swallow it may prove to be a tough lesson.
I love my son, he is a sweet heart.
I want to do what is best for him.
I so badly want to figure out how to help him navigate SPD as easily as possible.
I get frustrated when I feel that people may judge that he is an out of control child when we are out and about. When he is melting down at the grocery store, because he is just over his limit. When he hits me or is screaming and yelling as we leave the store, because he is over his limit. I hate the stares and looks I get. I hate that anyone may think he is not a good kid, because he is. I hate that anyone may think he is a brat, because he is not. He is just trying to navigate in a very sensory world without the same abilities as most of us have to deal.
I also get frustrated when it is implied that it is all about his age. yes, at almost three tantrums and attitudes are not unusual. His are different though. Don't ask me to exactly explain how or why. They just are. I know my kid. I know that things are a little different with him. It is part of why we went gluten free, I wanted to see if it would help with some behavior issues, not to mention his developmental difficulties. It has worked to an extent. We were also casein free for a while too. I decided to try to put him back on dairy to see what would happen. In the next week or so we will go casein free again and I will once again watch to see if it makes a difference. The gluten did for sure. I took out casein at close to the same time though I am not as sure if the differences were there with that or not.
I don't know what I want to say exactly except that I am trying to figure this all out. I am trying to treat him as I would my other children while at the same time taking into consideration that he processes a little differently than they do. I have picked up the book The Out of Sync Child again and am going to try to read it all. I need to understand but sometimes the words get to be too much for me. Sometimes I get lost in all the technical speak.
We are working with an OT and she definitely sees what I see. She says he definitely has sensory problems. This is all awesome to me because I need to know that I am not crazy. I need to know that what I see in him that others so quickly dismiss really is there. She too is worried about how he will handle a preschool classroom, among other adjustments.
Things are coming along. It is a slow process, which is fine, I just have my good days and I have my bad days. So does Brady. Obviously those days tend to be one in the same...my good are his good and my bad are his as well. We will get this figured out....we will.
Why would anyone be offended? Because the words of my friends sometimes hurt. Because the well-meaning comments are sometimes painful. Because trying to wade through the world of sensory processing disorder and language/developmental delays is hard enough without feeling all alone in that battle/search. I do have a few other mothers I can talk to that are on this road with me(which is nice), it is still tough though. I have also been reading quite a few SPD mothers blogs, which again is helpful.
I have spent the past couple of days in frustration and some tears. I am still trying to wade through the world of SPD as it pertains to my son. I am still trying to figure out what it is that I need to do to help him through his fits and tough times. What over-stimulates and how to compensate. Do I then remove stimuli or give him stimuli where he likes it?
He is an oral sensory seeker so I am going to try to keep fruit leather and fruit snacks and even small pieces of gum so that he has something to chew on should things go awry. The thing with this though is that I do not feed the kids HFCS nor do I buy anything with food coloring. We are also gluten free; while I go back and forth with casein. So that means that the fruit snacks are expensive; thank goodness they do make natural fruit snacks though. I know it may make me sound like an asshole to imply that I won't get something for my son because it is expensive but with three kids, all of whom want to have snacks when he does, it really does get expensive. I may do some searching online to see if buying in bulk will help.
My other concern with giving him food type stimuli is that I don't want to always give him food to get him through a tough sensory moment. That seems to be a bad idea to me. No matter how healthy the treat may be to use food as a solution may set him up for food issues down the road. So I bought some small pieces of gum. Natural gum made with no artificial sweeteners colors or flavors. Still...it is gum and along with fruit snacks these are not great for the kids teeth either. Plus teaching him not to swallow it may prove to be a tough lesson.
I love my son, he is a sweet heart.
I want to do what is best for him.
I so badly want to figure out how to help him navigate SPD as easily as possible.
I get frustrated when I feel that people may judge that he is an out of control child when we are out and about. When he is melting down at the grocery store, because he is just over his limit. When he hits me or is screaming and yelling as we leave the store, because he is over his limit. I hate the stares and looks I get. I hate that anyone may think he is not a good kid, because he is. I hate that anyone may think he is a brat, because he is not. He is just trying to navigate in a very sensory world without the same abilities as most of us have to deal.
I also get frustrated when it is implied that it is all about his age. yes, at almost three tantrums and attitudes are not unusual. His are different though. Don't ask me to exactly explain how or why. They just are. I know my kid. I know that things are a little different with him. It is part of why we went gluten free, I wanted to see if it would help with some behavior issues, not to mention his developmental difficulties. It has worked to an extent. We were also casein free for a while too. I decided to try to put him back on dairy to see what would happen. In the next week or so we will go casein free again and I will once again watch to see if it makes a difference. The gluten did for sure. I took out casein at close to the same time though I am not as sure if the differences were there with that or not.
I don't know what I want to say exactly except that I am trying to figure this all out. I am trying to treat him as I would my other children while at the same time taking into consideration that he processes a little differently than they do. I have picked up the book The Out of Sync Child again and am going to try to read it all. I need to understand but sometimes the words get to be too much for me. Sometimes I get lost in all the technical speak.
We are working with an OT and she definitely sees what I see. She says he definitely has sensory problems. This is all awesome to me because I need to know that I am not crazy. I need to know that what I see in him that others so quickly dismiss really is there. She too is worried about how he will handle a preschool classroom, among other adjustments.
Things are coming along. It is a slow process, which is fine, I just have my good days and I have my bad days. So does Brady. Obviously those days tend to be one in the same...my good are his good and my bad are his as well. We will get this figured out....we will.
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